Y Hallo Thar (And Other Internets Talkish)

Time for another round of, "Is This Bad?"

Is it bad that my only response to "males of any species do not go into heat EVAR OMG, science, you're Doing it Wrong."

Is "Pon farr! I WIN."

For the uninitiated.

Okay, then.

The physics rant has no place in fanfiction.

Welcome to Fullmetal Alchemist: Greed is (presumably) bulletproof, but he can be stabbed With Science (alchemy). Meanwhile, Lust, whose Ultimate Lance moniker suggests her fingers can pierce, well, anything, doesn't leave a scratch on him. Although it would be so hot if she could. Nrrrgle, srysly.

Welcome to Mortal Kombat: a fine, upstanding celebration of science, a venerable competition for honor and glory in which people routinely block live napalm WITH THEIR BARE HANDS.

Don't get me started on space fandoms containing lazer swords as a prominent and salient plot point. Really, it's not a good idea. XD

Harry Potter? One word: wizards.

I could keep listing nouns. Like goblins and werewolves and pixies, oh my.

My big point is, IF BLITHELY IGNORING SCIENCE IS CANON, do yourself a favor and invest in some chill pills.

I mean, I don't like full-on canon rape either, but the reason it's happening to the wizarding world? Canon there's not as uber-consistent as we'd like it to be.

Again, in one word: legillimency.

It exists, and it is canon, and it is fraught with logistics problems that are at least as brain-borking as the thought of poor Draco going into heat for Harry.

Not as funny, I grant you, but just as problematic.

I mean, I was having a laugh like everyone else, until I realized how very serious at least two of the posters were about this issue being deadly relevant to the sacred almighty canon.

Honestly. Fanfiction is, at its core, stories about stories.

At least your fandom doesn't have the one where they both...into lentil soup. For godsake.

That is a mental image that will never, ever, ever go away.

I'm just saying.