Intaglio 2.0

I have to leave my house at noon to get to a 5:30pm university class by bus. This is not a big deal.

When I am a passenger on said bus, minding my own business, and we are following all relevant traffic laws as we pull up to a stop?

And we're rear-ended?

That's. Kind of less of a not big deal.

When I'm the tweaky freaky and I'm the only one composed enough to rouse the authorities, it's almost funny.

She fucking lived. She lived she lived she lived she's fine her stupid Nissan is fucking totaled god I hope she learns from this, I hope it changes her life.

The paramedic was absolutely astounded that I don't scarf the prescription candy.

My pharmacist's name is Bacardi.

Lights out, Gracie.

ASDF RETDSIHUTGDSJHGRDNJKFDG;LIKRSE KEYSMASH BECAUSE

Driving lessons. I can afford them. And they will drive to my house, that I may drive, in car, which they have provided.

NO MORE BUS.

JESUS BUGFUCK HALLELUJAH.

Do they have a course to teach you to be even more aggressive? I wish devoutly to be a screaming terror on wheels. ^_^

The Jheti Driving Handbook (Excerpts):

Q: What do white dashed lines mean?
A: Passing allowed.

Q: What do solid yellow lines mean?
A: No passing allowed.

Q: What do you do if that gentleman in front of you accidentally cuts you off?
A: Aim for his gas tank.

Yay.

Stolen from starsandtildes! And then modified to be something I can actually do! XD

First ten people to comment with a pairing or character will get a one-sentence fic of same. Double posting doesn't count; wait a few days until I see what I've got.

Reciprocation is always love, but not always requited or required.

I ride public transit. For six hours a day. Twice a week; down from thrice a week. I hate it. I hate absolutely everything about it.

THERE IS NO FUCKING BRIGHT SIDE. IT DOES NOT EXIST.

It is very easy for people with cars to tell me how grateful I should be. Sneering wheatgrass cyclists who live eight minutes from their cushy overpaid office job can stick their environmentally friendly transportation right up their low-carb-nonfat cheeks.

No, not the ones on their faces, although that might be fun to watch, too.

Yes, I have met some nice people. I can literally count them on one hand. And I have been riding public transit for FOUR YEARS. That should tell you something.

However. The "have gratitude for all life gives you" types are probably sick of my bitching.

It will not lessen. It will merely go into hiding. It will also become more extensive! As I used to edit the posts for brevity before. These will contain more hatred for humanity.

They will be on a filter.

I swear I really did used to like people and want to help them. City buses do not in fact run on gasoline, but rather ON HUMAN SOULS, which they devour slowly over long periods of time.

Adds? y/n/don't give a shit? Comment, pls.