Intaglio 2.0

I have the Tournament Edition and this thing is fucking gorgeous. I got a call from the lady of the house, "What is this thing? It's like a...a two foot by one foot by eight inch box; it's huge."

Oh, yes, yes it is huge.

( So is this post. My god IT'S FULL OF STARS, etc. etc. )

Oh, speaking of: the gore is really dialed up this time. Bruises and scrapes and super moves that show off exactly how and where bones are shattered. In one stage, there are literally fountains of blood that the characters can stand under.

The Fatalities are sick, but by comparison are not as bad as I expected. At least, not so far.

Two of the four (!!) sections of the Krypt/Nekropolis are so nasty I can't even look. It's helpful to have a friend or relative with no sense of squeamishness nearby so you can still get all the loot. The Misery Meadow or whatever the hell that is? Plays to my slightly mean sense of humor real well, but it's probably still gross.

Yeah, basically every part of the Kryptopolis that's not the standard headstone part in the very beginning? Hella gross.

I don't know if you can turn the blood level down, because I never bother to do it. Gore has been integrated into the user menus and into certain effects in the game and mini-events and, look, basically the visual design team realized their original core audience is pushing thirty and still frustrated about their lives, and it's like they gave us a big bloody pillow to scream into. Made of guts.

Big squishy still-warm hug, guys; c'mere.

I find this powerfully cathartic, personally, but yeah. Parts of it squick me some. The Internet generation? Won't even blink.

Tl;dr it deserves that Mature rating.

OH OH OH THEY BROUGHT BACK TEST YOUR MIGHT.

THERE ARE SO MANY OPTIONS AND THE STUPID FETCH QUESTS ARE NO LONGER COMPULSORY except if you want them Fatalities, ya'll.

Oh there will be more entries, oh yes.

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD.

FINISH HIM.

From taraljc.

Name fifteen favorite fannish pairings (het/slash/canon/fanon), and ask people if they notice any common traits/tendencies in the pairings you choose. Try to pick different fandoms.

Different fandoms? Oops. Here, have them in vague chronological order backward, including ships for fandoms I'm no longer in or only in to converse with the awesome people I met there. Also, please note that I pay no attention to the / direction.

( Pairings! )

BONUS ROUND: My original pairing was and will always be Zelda/Link (The Legend of Zelda)

I still can't stand Jayne/River (Firefly).

Theft from taraljc:

( My dearth of TV fandoms, let me show you it? Er. )

AND THE GHOSTBUSTERS GAME! IS UNCANCELLED. ATARI BOUGHT IT. IT'S TO COINCIDE WITH SONY'S "PLANS" FOR GB'S 25th.

Yes, yes that does merit capslock. It merits large deafening capslock squee, and thus, and therefore.

Kitana's ending in MKvsDC? And others, but mostly Kitana's ending.

( SPOILERS. Don't click or don't whine. Those are your choices. )

While I'm still on the soapbox. What MKvsDC does make me want to see?

The next MK film, computer generated.

I'm serious. It's high time we got something more out of the technology than The Ant Bully.

They're still not getting the eyes right, but they're almost there with the teeth.

Sometime while I was hibernating, Sonya randomly became a General.

(Ed really likes to do this. A lot. Witness the million Outworld generals and their total inability to get anything done. Which is a remark that must touch a nerve; Baraka is apoplectic. XD)

Meanwhile in canon, no sign that Jax, who originally outranked her by a fair bit, was ever promoted even once.

Nice, Ed. Real nice. Way to not even Google stuff. Because that would've taken four whole minutes if you paused to read the text that goes with the pretty charts.

Saddest part is, this seems to have happened about two games ago (I can't locate the precise point in canon, but it's around the time the whole deeply boring Kenshi thing takes place) and it was so quietly done that one of her more vocal supporters on the board appears not to know it has taken place.

I mean. I'm not the world's hugest Sonya fan, but if I was, I'd think her rank would matter to me; it outlines the expectations of her job, what she knows/is capable of, and the kind of shit she has to put up with, and also, definitively, why she does not have the time to go anywhere with Johnny Cage, let alone to the Bahamas to hop the broom.

I mean.

WHAT?

Wow, okay, by comparison, the idea that Leena's MKD ending might be canon isn't looking so bad.

If the Mortal Kombat franchise were my boyfriend, I could describe him thusly, gargling through my mangled face around the respirator tubes the medics almost didn't insert in time:

"He hits me because he loves me. And I love him. Forever and ever. I mentioned he loves me?"

COME the fuck ON.

Fuck you, Midway. "MK8", or whatever you finally call the shitty spinoff game with probably no Tarkatans in it because you are dicks like that...is not an acceptable excuse.

Even if Kitana/Mileena/Baraka prison rape sex were suddenly gloriously, magically out and out canon, no, it would not make up for this.

It would help. I mean, it...It would be a fun start. But I still don't forgive you.

Just...fuck you.

For the first time in literally MORE THAN HALF MY LIFE, I am contemplating not buying into your shit, not looking forward to your product, and, yes, not following it.

(On the level, I haven't always OWNED some of the drek you shoveled out, because I do not like, um, well, certain characters, or care whether they, er, get an ancillary sidescrolling game. And having Jax but not Sonya was just too stupid to even justify a rental. They are fuckbuddies A TEAM. Seriously.)

You...you people are...I just.

I need a shower.

Oh, look, fanfic chatter. Without any actual fanfic attached. Fandoms are probably listed in tags.

( Three IS a prime number... )

( She deserves the applause, I surrender because... )

( Nothing ventured, nothing gained. )

( It's the city, boyo. )

( See icon. )